Initial Contact

Why First Contact Matters

The way a noise concern is raised can significantly affect the outcome. Approaching the issue thoughtfully can reduce conflict and prevent long-term stress. Unresolved neighbor disputes often escalate and can undermine a sense of safety and comfort in one’s home.

The time and care you take in approaching the matter can save you a great deal of emotional stress. Neighbor disputes can poison the happiness of your life and home.

Understanding the Neighbor’s Perspective

Begin by considering the neighbor’s perspective. In many cases, the person creating the noise may be unaware that it is carrying into nearby homes. A calm, respectful conversation is sometimes sufficient to resolve the issue.

Try to determine the neighbor’s point of view. It could be that the neighbor is completely oblivious or unaware that noise is coming into your space. If you approach your neighbor as a friend, you may be able to solve the problem with a simple conversation.

How to Approach the Conversation

When speaking with a neighbor, remain civil and direct. Clearly explain the problem and the specific change you are requesting. Avoid confrontational language, raised voices, or threats, as these approaches tend to escalate rather than resolve conflicts.

Your approach should always be civil, no matter how indifferent the neighbor may initially appear to be. Be clear and assertive. Do not curse, scream, make threats or show hostility when making a request for action. If you appeal to a person’s innate sense to do good, you will get better results.

Examples of Productive Requests

For example, if a neighbor is playing music at a high volume, you might say: “I can hear the music clearly in my home and it’s been difficult for me to rest. Would you mind turning it down a bit?” Keeping the request simple and factual can help keep the conversation productive.

For example, if the neighbor is playing music too loudly, you could say: “I was wondering if you could help me out. My wife suffers from migraines and she is sensitive to loud music. I know it’s asking a lot, but could you keep it down for me? I really appreciate it.” Another approach is: “I really like the music you’re playing but I can hear it in my home, can you keep it down for me?”

When the Response Is Uncertain

Not all conversations will result in an immediate or positive response. Even so, raising the issue respectfully may lead the neighbor to reduce the noise later without further discussion.

You may not always get a cordial response, but you have planted a seed and they may reduce the noise on their own without any further discussion.

Practical and Cooperative Solutions

Some noise issues are unintentional and can be mitigated with practical adjustments. Examples include relocating a television or speaker away from a shared wall, placing equipment on vibration-reducing pads, or modifying the use of loud outdoor equipment. In some cases, cooperative solutions may involve small compromises or shared costs that reduce noise for everyone involved.

Some types of noises are unintentional and can be mitigated. For instance, you could ask the neighbor to relocate the television set nearest your wall in their apartment as a favor that you will later reciprocate. You could offer a new quiet electric lawn mower in exchange for disposing their noisy gas-powered model. This will cost you time and money, but it will afford you and your family some peace and quiet.

Collective Engagement

When multiple residents are affected, addressing the issue collectively can reinforce that the problem is not personal and may encourage a more constructive response.

In cases where other neighbors are also affected, engage the noisy neighbor in a group conversation.

Involving Property Owners and Management

If the neighbor is a renter or owns a co-op/condo, copy the landlord or building management. You can obtain the contact information by looking up the county property records or locating the inspection placard in the building vestibule. The owner is liable for what happens on their property, even if they do not live there. You can file a claim for damages and code violations with the town or city housing authority.

Formal Follow-Up

If you don’t get a response within 30 days, send a second notice and copy the police department. You want the police to be aware that there is an ongoing problem. You can also forward a copy to local media contacts for a possible story. Be sure to have a list of talking points ready so that if a reporter contacts you, you will know what to say as succinctly as possible.

Mediation and Arbitration

Some communities offer mediation services to settle neighbor disputes. Sometimes the arbitration is binding or non-binding and its success depends entirely on the willingness of both parties to negotiate the matter.

Written Notice and Documentation

An effective letter should cite the actual noise ordinance that pertains to the situation that you are experiencing. It may help to have a meeting with the police department prior to sending the letter.